Couples Therapy

Couples therapy shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all. In order for it to be effective, it’s important to consider why, and when, you are seeking help.

Gottman Approved Member

One of the most common things I hear is “we tried couples therapy and it didn’t help” – and often, it turns out that the reason is that the therapist tried to use an approach that was inappropriate for the needs of the couple.

Part of our work together includes a basic assessment of what type of approach is most likely to be effective based on the stage of your relationship and your relationship goals. Once we’ve decided on a specific focus, we’ll create a targeted treatment plan based on a thorough, evidence-based assessment process.

Most things in life seem to get easier with time. Unfortunately, marriage doesn’t seem to be that way. Humans are complicated creatures that are always growing and changing. Naturally, our relationships change, too. Couples therapy can help you navigate those individual and relational changes so that you can have the best possible relationship over time.

Some people mistakenly believe that if they have to get counseling before they’re even married then the marriage must be doomed. That’s not the case at all. When you think intentionally about your relationship, you set yourself up for success. That’s all that premarital counseling is really about.

When you are in the thick of challenges in your relationship, it can feel almost impossible to know what to do next. Sometimes, it comes down to a deceptively simple question: “should I stay or should I go?” We can only make the best choice possible with the information that we have. Discernment counseling helps you make that decision.

When you are in the midst of a crisis, you need immediate help. Things are becoming overwhelming and unbearable, so you need the resources to just get stable again. Crisis counseling is significantly different than other counseling because of the recognized need to deal with the immediate problem first. You’ll find this to hold true whether you’re seeking individual or couples counseling.

Your marriage is your most valuable asset, so you should never neglect it. Of course, we often do take our relationships for granted. We get wrapped up in dealing with the everyday things in life, and we expect our relationships to just last. We wouldn’t do that with our cars or homes, so we certainly shouldn’t do it with our relationships. That’s why marriage tune-ups can be such a valuable tool.

Marriage is the only thing in life that seems to get harder, not easier, the more you do it. Not only do divorce rates go up drastically in 2nd and 3rd marriages, the overall divorce rate among those of us over 50 has doubled in the last 20 years! But for those who make it, people can find great satisfaction and fulfillment in their marriages, even – perhaps especially – in 2nd marriages. Whether they’re in a later phase of a first marriage, or in a second or later marriage, I help midlife couples beat the odds and build relationships that do more than survive – they thrive.

You and your spouse have been married a long time. You’re a decade or two into your marriage. You’re clearly committed. And yet, something isn’t working. Couples therapy can help you build upon the strengths of your relationship while assisting you in figuring out what to do better in the future.

Second, third, and even subsequent marriages are increasingly common. Unfortunately, they’re also more likely to end in divorce than even first marriages are. So, are they worth the chance? Of course they are. But you might want to arm yourself with the tools necessary to help you succeed. Therapy is one of those tools.